Nancy Mitford

today is her birthday

Today is my grandparents 50th year wedding anniversary.
This is them on their honeymoon, i love them so much and they are the living proof that true love does exist.

source

War bride is a term used in reference to wartime marriages.

Wartime marriages occur in all places where servicemen find themselves. For example, according to The Daily Telegraph, it is estimated that there are "... 15,000 Australian women who married American servicemen based in Australia during World War II and moved to the US to be with their husbands".

"Well she was holding her future in a hand

Yeah the faded photo of her man
Catch a sailor if you can
The war bride leaves her southern land

All the girls around Australia
Married to a Yankee Sailor
The fare is paid across the sea
To the home of the brave and the land of the free"

Reference Artist: Sylvia Plath

today is her birthday.

new york times bestseller

Vogue by Steven Klein

Reference Artist: Alexia Sinclair

draft: parents added

parents wedding day

• life and love are sometimes compared to a garden: you have to keep working at them or the weeds begin to crowd out the flowers. "(52)
• Anything worth doing required planning and effort and a bit of determination. (6)
• but if you are living together, no matter what you call it you are married. you are just not as married as if you were formally married, that's all. (18)

I love white lace and i cannot lie

http://junialoves.com/i-love-white-lace-and-i-cannot-lie/

“Simple girls just want to find the guy and get married and live.”

—	Grey’s Anatomy

Manolo Blahnik says his heels can save marriages

“The male reaction to heels is half normal and half perversion, but some men tell me I’ve saved their marriage … the first thing men look at are a woman’s legs, and there is nothing more flattering than high heels.”

The "D" Word

In case you weren’t aware, my parents are going thru a divorce while I plan my wedding.  Its the most hurtful yet ironic thing in the whole wide world. Its made me think a whole lot, doubt a whole lot, but assure myself of something: I HATE DIVORCE.

You made an OATH unto God.  You promised him you’d be together forever.  Yet you insist on tearing our family apart. Like you haven’t traumatized us enough by leaving us twice.  Second time, you left right after I got engaged… that one hurt me worst.  So now you’re out and about living your merry life trying to find happiness while your home aches and breaks.

Need I say more?

Now onto happy thoughts of sugar plums and fairies…

Barbara De Angelis

“Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.”

James C. Dobson

“Don’t marry the person you think you can live with. Marry only the individual you can’t live without.”

“Why is it that we are willing to write our own vows but not our own set of rules.”

Kids On Marriage

How do you decide whom to marry?
“You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.” -Alan, age 10

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
“You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.”-Derrick, age 8

What do most people do on a date?
“On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.”-Martin, age 10

When is it okay to kiss someone?
“When they’re rich.”-Pam, age 7

Is it better to be single or married?
“It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.”-Anita, age 9

How would the world be different if people didn’t get married?
“There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?”-Kelvin, age 8

How would you make a marriage work?
“Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.”-Ricky, age 10

I do?

Why is it so important to people to get married? And I’m not just asking this because of my dislike of the institution of marriage and how antiquated it is (that’s a post for another day). It just perplexes me that so many people include getting married on the list of things they want to accomplish in their lifetime. Go to college, become a musician/teacher/engineer, and get married.

It seems to me that if we think of marriage as a goal or something that we need to accomplish, then we start seeking relationships solely for that purpose. No longer do we base our judgments of potential partners on things like, say, their personality or sense of humor, but rather on the question, “Are they marriage material?” I don’t think that’s even a conscious thought for most people, but neither do we question the impulse because marriage is such a prevalent (if commonly dysfunctional) part of society.

Don’t mistake this post as a diatribe against people who get married. Marriage works for lots of people and I think that’s a wonderful and beautiful thing. I just don’t understand why people, especially at my age, seem to think that a) marriage is the next step after graduation and b) that they are colossal failures if they don’t meet and marry THE ONE. Relax. Live your life like you always have, and if someone comes along who you want to spend the rest of your life with, go for it. But frankly, actively searching for that person is a waste of time.

Katharine Hepburn

“If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married”

Why 90% of the marriages out there fail.

Getting married is the final stage of being with someone. When you get married to someone, you obviously get married with someone you’re ready to spend your whole life with. You’re madly comfortable with them. But when you’re too comfortable with someone, you tend to not do much because there really is no point, since they know you…they know all about you already.

That’s where it all fails at. Slacking in a marriage is one key to a divorce. By getting too comfortable with someone, you don’t seem to mind on how you look or act anymore. It’s not like how it was when you two were dating. When you two would go get ready to go on dates. Whatever. It’s this reason that gets all marriages FUCKED UP in all diff types of places.

You wanna be able to have that flame still lit, why would you let it get put out? Some people have yet to understand this fact. It’s not because you’re losing feelings or the person isn’t meant for you…it’s just because you’re a boring ass bitch/nigga and needs to get off your ass and do somethin to rekindle ya’ll love , nawsayin?!

Zsa Zsa Gabor

“A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.”

Is it really just a piece of paper?

The Globe and Mail:

Twenty years ago, 81 per cent of children under 15 were living with parents who were legally married, but by 2006 that proportion had fallen to just below 66 per cent.

In the same time-frame, the proportion of children living with common-law parents tripled to almost 15 per cent from less than five per cent.

• I think that anyone who calls it “just a piece of paper”, isn’t, and never has been married. It certainly is way more than just a piece of paper…as anyone who has had to go through a divorce can tell you. Are society’s mores changing, or is this another indicator of our “throw away” society? If marriage really isn’t important, then why do I hear many unmarrieds refer to their live in partners as “my husband” or “my wife”? Is it important to get married if you have children? What say you?

• I wonder what being married would be like. To me, being married is not just a piece of paper. It’s a promise that they love you so much, they will always be there for you. Even if you’re sick. Even if times are tough. Even if the world seems to fall apart. They will always be there. I like the idea of it. It’s something I dreamed of as a little kid playing dress up. Sometimes I wonder if it will ever happen to me before I die. I guess I better keep wishing and praying. Maybe it will come true. xo kat

Cynthia Nixon

“I want to say to the gentleman to my left, gay people who want to marry have no desire to redefine marriage in any way. When women got the vote they did not redefine voting. When African-Americans got the right to sit at a lunch counter alongside white people, they did not redefine eating out. They were simply invited to the table.”

read this

Ross Douthat on "The Marriage Ideal".

http://leninlives.blogspot.com/2010/08/ross-douthat-on-marriage-ideal.html

Muslim Women should be able to marry non-muslim Men: The Goat Milk Debate.
http://hiddenblowthesurface.tumblr.com/post/1246415962/muslim-women-should-be-able-to-marry-non-muslim-men

Why the ugly rhetoric against gay marriage is familiar to this historian of miscegenation.
http://pedaltothemetal.tumblr.com/post/1238315673/why-the-ugly-rhetoric-against-gay-marriage-is-familiar

Does marriage make us happy?

http://adrianalucci.tumblr.com/post/1236595900/does-marriage-make-us-happy

"The foundation of marriage is polygyny"

The foundation of marriage is polygyny (Having more than one wife)

Taken From: The Fatawaa of our Shaykh, Allaama Mufti of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia
Abdul Azeez bin Abdullaah Bin Baaz

Question is the foundation of marriage polygyny or is it having one wife? 

The answer: The foundation in the Sharia is polygyny for he who has the capability to do so, and will not oppress them.

This is due to the many benefits of polygyny, protecting ones private parts, protection for the one who marries women and is good to them. The increase of offspring by which the Ummah is increased thereby an increase of those who worship Allaah alone.

 The evidence which shows this is the saying of Allaah Ta’ala:

 «Then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them),then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess.That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.» [Soorah an-Nisa:3]

 Also, because the Messenger - sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam – married more than one wife and Allaah Subhanahu said:  

 «Verilyin the Messenger of Allaah you have a beautiful example»

[Soorah Ahzab:21] 

 The Messenger- sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam – mentioned when some of the companions said: As For methen I will not eat meat, another one said: As for me then I will pray and I will not sleep. Another one said as for me then I will fast and not open my fast. Another one said: as for me then I will not marry women.

 So when this news reached the Prophet - sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam – he addressed the people and praised and glorified Allaah then he said: ‘Indeed such and such news has reached me. However I fast and open my fast, pray and sleep.  I eat meat and marry women.  So whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not from me.’

 This is a great statement from the Prophet - sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam –which includes having one wife and polygyny.

 Allaah is The One who gives the capability.

 [al-Balaag magazine no.1015, 19 Rabial-Awal 1410 A.H.]

Translated by Abbas Abu Yahya

Françoise Sagan

“The questions I would have liked to ask people were: ‘Are you in love? What are you reading?”

Nancy Mitford

“The trouble is that people seem to expect happiness in life. I can’t imagine why; but they do.”

"marital bliss"

vom

Planning for Woman into Wife #4

LOCATION 

• dining room? 

PROPS

• sisters, bridesmaids/flowergirl dresses?
• random items to play with: red heart,
• wedding items; flowers, cake, 
• 
  
SYMBOLISM

• 
  
  
  

  WEDDING ITEMS:

  
  
• DRESS:




• SOMETHING OLD:




• SOMETHING NEW:




• SOMETHING BORROWED:




• SOMETHING BLUE:




• FLOWERS?




• CAKE?




• 
  

April 14, 1965

Dear Eva:

You seem the same as always, and being you, hate every minute of it.  Don't!

Learn to say, "Fuck You" to the world once in a while.  You have every right to.  Just stop thinking, worrying, looking over your shoulder, wondering, doubting, fearing, hurting, hoping for some easy way out, struggling, gasping, confusing, itching, scratching, mumbling, bumbling, grumbling, humbling, stumbling, numbling, rambling, gambling, tumbling, scrumbling, scrambling, hitching, hatching, bitching, moaning, groaning, honing boning, horse-shitting, nit-picking, piss-trickling, nose-sticking, ass-gouging, eyeball-poking, finger-pointing, alleyway-sneaking, long waiting, small stepping, evil-eyeing, back-scratching, searching, perching, besmirching, grinding grinding grinding away at yourself.  Stop it and just DO.

...Don't worry about cool, make your own uncool.  Make your own, your own world...You must practice being stupid, dumb, unthinking, empty.  Then you will be able to DO!  I have much confidence in you and even though you are tormenting yourself, the work you do is very good.  Try to do some bad work.  The worst you can think of and see what happens but mainly relax and let every thing go to hell.

As ever,

Sol LeWitt

“The right person doesn’t make it the right time.”

But our love is a dinosaur, Hear it roar, Hear it roar.

"if i ever fool someone into falling in love with me i'm definitely having this"

to make a love relationship viable, each of you must see the other as something unique, something special. (p146)

doco

Marriage Techniques for Beginners

Director Piers Sanderson is about to get wed but he needs some help. Using animation, interviews conducted around the UK and a 60-year-old self-help manual, Piers attempts to unravel the secrets to a happy marriage.

trash the dress

"Ela Perry 30 September at 18:20 

you should also look into the "Trash the Dress" craze with brides right now.

http://becomingmrsmchugh.blogspot.com/2009/04/ideas-i-love-trash-dress.html "

draft W2W #1

rough layout W2W #1

layout after some advice from ty

second questionnaire answered

"family is particularly important to me, to me it means that i personally have a large impact on someone's life and they have a large impact on mine.

"everything always looks so perfect in movies"

"i feel like it's uncommon and strange not to get married these days, but if i never get met the right person i wouldn't do it for the sake of it"

 "family to me means everyone that i know will care about me and that i will care about forever no matter what happens"

Planning for Woman into Wife #1

conversation

I blame you Hollywood

Reference Artist: Charlotte Mann

inspired!

http://www.charlottemann.co.uk/work.html

“ I once gave a girl a bloody fake ear in a Tiffany jewelry box with a letter that said, “Will you Gogh to prom with me?” Yeah, I guess I’m a romantic. ”

- Matthew Gray Gubler 


http://www.mademoisellerobot.com/2009/10/mademoiselle-robot-still-loves-you.html

I am still so naïve; I know pretty much what I like and dislike; but please, don’t ask me who I am. A passionate, fragmentary girl, maybe?

Sylvia Plath

something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue and a sixpence in your shoe

the 'old' came from a happily married woman so that her happiness was transferred to the bride. It also symbolises consistency. the 'new' is associated with your new start. the 'borrowed' was usually gold jewellery, which was said to guarantee wealth and fortune in the future. the 'something blue' was said to bring good luck and is often the garter. the 'sixpence' was traditionally placed in the left shoe to ensure prosperity.

What are the ideals of marriage for Jehovah's Witnesses?

Marriage is regarded as a sacred arrangement that should be honoured. The bible encourages individuals not to get married too young and to enter into it seriously as a lifelong arrangment that can only be left if one of the parties commits adultery. Outside of that, if a separation is necessary due to threats to personal safety or other circumstances, the innocent party is not free to marry unless or until their partner commits adultery or dies. 

Jehovah's Witnesses look to God's Word the bible for advice as to the principle of headship and submission and attempt to build loving, warm relationships which benefits both the partners (and children) and brings honour to the Creator.

Why the Hindu Marriage is Sacrosanct

Ideals of Hindu Marriage

In Hinduism, man and woman represent the two halves of the divine body. There is no question of superiority or inferiority between them. However, it is a scientific fact that the emotional side is more developed in women. This does not mean that intellectually, women are inferior. Hindu history is witness to the super-women, like Gargi, Maitreyi and Sulabha, whose faculty of reasoning was far superior to that of ordinary mortals. But owing to organic differences in their physical and emotional constitutions, women are temperamentally more emotional than men.

The Idea of Marriage

The idea behind the institution of marriage in Hinduism is to foster, not self-interest, but love for the entire family. Practice of self-restraint is the ideal of marriage in Hinduism. It is the love and duty cultivated for the entire family that prevents the break-ups. Men by nature are less capable of self-restraint than women. That is why, after marriage the Hindu women lead the men by keeping the lustful propensities under control. While married, thought of any other man does not enter the mind of a Hindu lady until she loses her faith in her husband due to his consistent misbehavior and 'don't care' attitude.

The Sanctity of Marriage
The present-day Hindu husbands fail to recognize the sacrifices and lofty ideals of Hindu wives, and thus compel them to follow the worst of the West. During the nuptial ceremonyin a Vedic marriage, both the bride and the bridegroom take oath for the practice of self-restraint, to work together for the welfare of the family and to help each other to attain spiritual peace. This lofty ideal of sanctity is a great gift of Hinduism to the world at large.

Gyan Rajhans

collected

From Sweet Estelle

From Silver Crow

woman's changing role

• the whole thrust of the woman's liberation movement is their assertion that woman has more value as a person than man thinks she has, as demonstrated by the way he has treated her. (10)
• woman has always been more person-orientated than man. over thousands of years her responsibility for childbearing as well as the major responsibility in the rearing and socialisation process of her children have developed within her a greater consciousness and sensitivity to the wants and needs of others. (10)
• the women of the 1970s may find her identity and fulfilment in many other ways outside of the family and the home. (11)
• Not many years ago the family was a unit of economic survival. In the Middle Ages, a man went out to fight as a warrior or to hunt or farm. The women stayed home. In opur colonial times, the men tilled the soil and ground a living out of the earh ; but still most women remained in the home. After the Industrial Revolution, the husband still left the home, but this time to work in the factories for twelve or more ours, six days a week. Women remained in the hiome. The full burden of maintaining the home for many thousands of years has been the woman's. aupon her fell the major responsibility of caring for the children and the home. Today, however many women have been reluctant to consider themselves exlusively homemaker, mother and wide. In the 1930s the vast majority of women were satisfied wit this somestic role. (11)
• money won't make you happy. it'll only make you more comfortable when you're miserable. (14)
• many modern women look for marriage as a way to have a satisfying personal involvement rather than ma and pa playing house. (14)
• Katharine Hepburn chose acting as a career over marriage - not because she disliked marriage, but because she felt she couldn't do both and acting appealed to her more. (15)
• more is expected of the marriage itself. women no longer view a marriage as being successful if the couple just manages to get along and remain together. now marriage is seen more as a shared relationship. The doing of things together becomes important. Each person expresses a need for self-expression and growth. Roles are flexible and interchangeable. (16)

Ford, E. 1974. woman's changing role. In Why Marriage?, 10-20p. USA: Argus Communications.

i wanna be love by you, just you, nobody else but you.

D R E A M E R

"there is always something to keep your fingers crossed about, right? ...especially if you are a big dreamer like moi!"

bri embry

sex can be as ugly as it is beautiful

• “I love you” means “I want your body for a little while.” (p145)
• real love is a priceless gift. let's face it, anyone can get sex if he wants it. and he can get it on almost any corner if he wants to wait there long enough. (151)

love is a process

• No matter how many times a person is in love, gets divorced and remarries, that person's goal remains the same: He or she is looking for a partner with whom to share life and find acceptance, discover self-worth and enjoy a happy life.

you can't make people love you / you can't make someone else happy

• love is simply something that cannot be forced upon another person. (p49)
• authentic human involvement is not an easy process. (p52)

• abraham lincoln said, "we are about as happy as we make our minds to be." (59)

you can't change people

• the only person you can change is yourself. (p31)
• responsibility in a marriage is the ability to fulfill your needs for love and self-worth while, at the same time, not infringing on the right of your mate to do the same. marital happiness is the involvement of two people, each of whom can fulfill his own needs while allowing the other to do the same. (p32

we fly balloons on this fuel called love

mock layout: Woman into Wife #1

IMPORTANT ELEMENTS #1

• introduction.
• exploration.
• history: family wedding photos.
• sleeping: "dreams are necessary to life".
• research: gaining an understanding.
• relaxed, lack of ritual.

I AM

Gordon Bennett
born Australia 1955
Self portrait (But I always wanted to be one of the good guys) 1990

Colin McCahon
New Zealander 1919–1987
Victory over death 2 1970

‘I AM’ is borrowed from a well known art work, Victory over death 2, 1970 by New Zealand artist Colin McCahon (1919–1987) . It is also a direct reference to biblical stories in the Hebrew Scriptures. This rich interplay of words and images raises many questions. The simplicity of ‘I AM’ suggests a universality of thought. It is open to self revelation, self redemption and a myriad of rich images of self that can be built upon. McCahon uses ‘I AM’ to question notions of faith. Bennett uses it to question notions of self. ‘I am that I am’, Exodus 3:14 is God naming self. It is at once a name revealed and something like the refusal of a name. If God cannot be contained, can humanity be contained by stereotypes and labels?

I decided that I was in a very interesting position: my mind and body had been effectively colonized by Western culture, and yet my Aboriginality, which had been historically, socially and personally repressed, was still part of me … I decided that I would attempt to create a space by adopting a strategy of intervention and disturbance in the field of representation through my art. Gordon Bennett ⁶

Bennett determines in Self portrait (But I always wanted to be one of the good guys) that labels and stereotypes have no relevance to a healthy construction of identity.

http://www.ngv.vic.gov.au/gordonbennett/education/02.html

sleep

"Macbeth does murder sleep, the innocent sleep,
Sleep that knits up the ravelled sleeve of care,
The death of each day's life, sore labor's bath,
Balm of hurt minds, great nature's second course,
Chief nourisher in life's feast" (2.2.35-39).

Three things about sleep should be noted: (1) Sleep as the great interpreter of life; (2) Sleep as healer; and (3) Sleep as nourisher. Each calls for comment.

Onomatopoeia

"when the honeymoon is over, life becomes real".

marriage is a joke.

"It always cracks me up when whiney, homophobic idiots hide behind marriage as a defense for them to oppress the gays. “marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman.” marriage isn’t sacred. It’s been abused so much that that hookers who specialize in gang bangs feel sorry for it. People get married out of convenience, because they screwed around and had a kid, as an excuse to get a green card, to win a game show, or to become famous. How sacred is that crap? When marriage was created, “till death do us part,” actually meant what it said. Now they should change it to, “till I get sick of you and want a divorce do use part, but not until I drive you utterly insane to the point that you will try to kill me and/or yourself with a shard of glass.” bit of a mouth full, but accurate none the less. Marriage was invented as a way for sexist men to own and control women, and that’s fine with me, but now marriage is just a novelty with no more value than that which individuals give it. I see marriage as utterly meaningless. It’s just a way for weak willed people to stay faithful to each other, or for sluts to screw old lonely men’s’ families out of inheritance. For Christ sake, they have drive through marriages in Vegas, and your priest is an Elvis impersonator! I honestly can’t imagine gays messing it up any worse than it is. Especially when celebrities keep having these 24 hour marriages during drunken stupors. You can’t drive drunk, but it’s ok to get married while you’re hammered. Shouldn’t there be a rule against that? I think the real reason people don’t want gays to get married is that they are afraid the gays will put their straight marriage to shame. Now that would be fricken hilarious."

http://www.datehookup.com/Thread-285519.htm 

family dinners

50th wedding anniversary

1978 Ledora & William Smaller
50th Wedding Anniversary
William Smaller died about Jan 1980

John Kennedy and Mary Richards
on their 50th wedding anniversary

June 1965 Wesley Clay Halbert and Cora Ethel Clark 

50th Wedding Anniversary 

1917-1967

first questionnaire answered

"i want to get married to have a pretty wedding."

"i feel society still thinks that if you have children you have to get married but i don't think it matters."

"family means having people around that love and care for you."

in my head we are already married

old love

"Even when we’re all old and wrinkly with hair growing in the strangest places, I’d still flirt with you, calling you ‘gorgeous’ and ‘babe’. And I hope you’d be okay with that." 

http://tomyfuturebride.tumblr.com/post/1109863508/even-when-were-all-old-and-wrinkly-with-hair

You prepare for the wedding.

I’ll prepare the marriage. :)

http://tomyfuturebride.tumblr.com/