I do?

Why is it so important to people to get married? And I’m not just asking this because of my dislike of the institution of marriage and how antiquated it is (that’s a post for another day). It just perplexes me that so many people include getting married on the list of things they want to accomplish in their lifetime. Go to college, become a musician/teacher/engineer, and get married.

It seems to me that if we think of marriage as a goal or something that we need to accomplish, then we start seeking relationships solely for that purpose. No longer do we base our judgments of potential partners on things like, say, their personality or sense of humor, but rather on the question, “Are they marriage material?” I don’t think that’s even a conscious thought for most people, but neither do we question the impulse because marriage is such a prevalent (if commonly dysfunctional) part of society.

Don’t mistake this post as a diatribe against people who get married. Marriage works for lots of people and I think that’s a wonderful and beautiful thing. I just don’t understand why people, especially at my age, seem to think that a) marriage is the next step after graduation and b) that they are colossal failures if they don’t meet and marry THE ONE. Relax. Live your life like you always have, and if someone comes along who you want to spend the rest of your life with, go for it. But frankly, actively searching for that person is a waste of time.