Saturday, October 23, 2010

Sunday, October 10, 2010

  • life and love are sometimes compared to a garden: you have to keep working at them or the weeds begin to crowd out the flowers. "(52)
  • Anything worth doing required planning and effort and a bit of determination. (6)
  • but if you are living together, no matter what you call it you are married. you are just not as married as if you were formally married, that's all. (18)

    Tuesday, October 5, 2010

    Simple girls just want to find the guy and get married and live.
    Grey’s Anatomy

    Manolo Blahnik says his heels can save marriages


    The male reaction to heels is half normal and half perversion, but some men tell me I’ve saved their marriage … the first thing men look at are a woman’s legs, and there is nothing more flattering than high heels.



    The "D" Word

    In case you weren’t aware, my parents are going thru a divorce while I plan my wedding.  Its the most hurtful yet ironic thing in the whole wide world. Its made me think a whole lot, doubt a whole lot, but assure myself of something: I HATE DIVORCE.
    You made an OATH unto God.  You promised him you’d be together forever.  Yet you insist on tearing our family apart. Like you haven’t traumatized us enough by leaving us twice.  Second time, you left right after I got engaged… that one hurt me worst.  So now you’re out and about living your merry life trying to find happiness while your home aches and breaks.
    Need I say more?
    Now onto happy thoughts of sugar plums and fairies…

    Barbara De Angelis

    “Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.”

    James C. Dobson


    “Don’t marry the person you think you can live with. Marry only the individual you can’t live without.”

    “Why is it that we are willing to write our own vows but not our own set of rules.”

    Kids On Marriage

    How do you decide whom to marry?
    “You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.” -Alan, age 10

    How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
    “You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.”-Derrick, age 8

    What do most people do on a date?
    “On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.”-Martin, age 10

    When is it okay to kiss someone?
    “When they’re rich.”-Pam, age 7

    Is it better to be single or married?
    “It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.”-Anita, age 9

    How would the world be different if people didn’t get married?
    “There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?”-Kelvin, age 8

    How would you make a marriage work?
    “Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.”-Ricky, age 10

    I do?

    Why is it so important to people to get married? And I’m not just asking this because of my dislike of the institution of marriage and how antiquated it is (that’s a post for another day). It just perplexes me that so many people include getting married on the list of things they want to accomplish in their lifetime. Go to college, become a musician/teacher/engineer, and get married.
    It seems to me that if we think of marriage as a goal or something that we need to accomplish, then we start seeking relationships solely for that purpose. No longer do we base our judgments of potential partners on things like, say, their personality or sense of humor, but rather on the question, “Are they marriage material?” I don’t think that’s even a conscious thought for most people, but neither do we question the impulse because marriage is such a prevalent (if commonly dysfunctional) part of society.
    Don’t mistake this post as a diatribe against people who get married. Marriage works for lots of people and I think that’s a wonderful and beautiful thing. I just don’t understand why people, especially at my age, seem to think that a) marriage is the next step after graduation and b) that they are colossal failures if they don’t meet and marry THE ONE. Relax. Live your life like you always have, and if someone comes along who you want to spend the rest of your life with, go for it. But frankly, actively searching for that person is a waste of time.

    Katharine Hepburn

    If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married

    Why 90% of the marriages out there fail.

    Getting married is the final stage of being with someone. When you get married to someone, you obviously get married with someone you’re ready to spend your whole life with. You’re madly comfortable with them. But when you’re too comfortable with someone, you tend to not do much because there really is no point, since they know you…they know all about you already.
    That’s where it all fails at. Slacking in a marriage is one key to a divorce. By getting too comfortable with someone, you don’t seem to mind on how you look or act anymore. It’s not like how it was when you two were dating. When you two would go get ready to go on dates. Whatever. It’s this reason that gets all marriages FUCKED UP in all diff types of places.
    You wanna be able to have that flame still lit, why would you let it get put out? Some people have yet to understand this fact. It’s not because you’re losing feelings or the person isn’t meant for you…it’s just because you’re a boring ass bitch/nigga and needs to get off your ass and do somethin to rekindle ya’ll love , nawsayin?!

    Zsa Zsa Gabor

    “A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.”

    Is it really just a piece of paper?

    Twenty years ago, 81 per cent of children under 15 were living with parents who were legally married, but by 2006 that proportion had fallen to just below 66 per cent.
    In the same time-frame, the proportion of children living with common-law parents tripled to almost 15 per cent from less than five per cent.

    • I think that anyone who calls it “just a piece of paper”, isn’t, and never has been married. It certainly is way more than just a piece of paper…as anyone who has had to go through a divorce can tell you. Are society’s mores changing, or is this another indicator of our “throw away” society? If marriage really isn’t important, then why do I hear many unmarrieds refer to their live in partners as “my husband” or “my wife”? Is it important to get married if you have children? What say you?
    • I wonder what being married would be like. To me, being married is not just a piece of paper. It’s a promise that they love you so much, they will always be there for you. Even if you’re sick. Even if times are tough. Even if the world seems to fall apart. They will always be there. I like the idea of it. It’s something I dreamed of as a little kid playing dress up. Sometimes I wonder if it will ever happen to me before I die. I guess I better keep wishing and praying. Maybe it will come true. xo kat

    Cynthia Nixon

    I want to say to the gentleman to my left, gay people who want to marry have no desire to redefine marriage in any way. When women got the vote they did not redefine voting. When African-Americans got the right to sit at a lunch counter alongside white people, they did not redefine eating out. They were simply invited to the table.

    read this

    Ross Douthat on "The Marriage Ideal".

    "The foundation of marriage is polygyny"

    The foundation of marriage is polygyny (Having more than one wife)
    Taken From: The Fatawaa of our Shaykh, Allaama Mufti of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia
    Abdul Azeez bin Abdullaah Bin Baaz

    Question is the foundation of marriage polygyny or is it having one wife? 

    The answer: The foundation in the Sharia is polygyny for he who has the capability to do so, and will not oppress them.
    This is due to the many benefits of polygyny, protecting ones private parts, protection for the one who marries women and is good to them. The increase of offspring by which the Ummah is increased thereby an increase of those who worship Allaah alone.
     The evidence which shows this is the saying of Allaah Ta’ala:
     «Then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them),then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess.That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.» [Soorah an-Nisa:3]
     Also, because the Messenger - sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam – married more than one wife and Allaah Subhanahu said:  
     «Verilyin the Messenger of Allaah you have a beautiful example»
    [Soorah Ahzab:21] 
     The Messenger- sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam – mentioned when some of the companions said: As For methen I will not eat meat, another one said: As for me then I will pray and I will not sleep. Another one said as for me then I will fast and not open my fast. Another one said: as for me then I will not marry women.
     So when this news reached the Prophet - sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam – he addressed the people and praised and glorified Allaah then he said: ‘Indeed such and such news has reached me. However I fast and open my fast, pray and sleep.  I eat meat and marry women.  So whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not from me.’
     This is a great statement from the Prophet - sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam –which includes having one wife and polygyny.
     Allaah is The One who gives the capability.
     [al-Balaag magazine no.1015, 19 Rabial-Awal 1410 A.H.]
    Translated by Abbas Abu Yahya

    Françoise Sagan

    “The questions I would have liked to ask people were: ‘Are you in love? What are you reading?”

    Nancy Mitford

    “The trouble is that people seem to expect happiness in life. I can’t imagine why; but they do.”



    "marital bliss"

    vom

    Sunday, October 3, 2010

    Planning for Woman into Wife #4

    LOCATION 
    • dining room? 


    PROPS
      • sisters, bridesmaids/flowergirl dresses?
      • random items to play with: red heart,
      • wedding items; flowers, cake, 

      • SYMBOLISM



      • WEDDING ITEMS:

      • DRESS:



      • SOMETHING OLD:



      • SOMETHING NEW:



      • SOMETHING BORROWED:



      • SOMETHING BLUE:



      • FLOWERS?



      • CAKE?







      April 14, 1965

      Dear Eva:

      You seem the same as always, and being you, hate every minute of it.  Don't!
      Learn to say, "Fuck You" to the world once in a while.  You have every right to.  Just stop thinking, worrying, looking over your shoulder, wondering, doubting, fearing, hurting, hoping for some easy way out, struggling, gasping, confusing, itching, scratching, mumbling, bumbling, grumbling, humbling, stumbling, numbling, rambling, gambling, tumbling, scrumbling, scrambling, hitching, hatching, bitching, moaning, groaning, honing boning, horse-shitting, nit-picking, piss-trickling, nose-sticking, ass-gouging, eyeball-poking, finger-pointing, alleyway-sneaking, long waiting, small stepping, evil-eyeing, back-scratching, searching, perching, besmirching, grinding grinding grinding away at yourself.  Stop it and just DO.
      ...Don't worry about cool, make your own uncool.  Make your own, your own world...You must practice being stupid, dumb, unthinking, empty.  Then you will be able to DO!  I have much confidence in you and even though you are tormenting yourself, the work you do is very good.  Try to do some bad work.  The worst you can think of and see what happens but mainly relax and let every thing go to hell.

      As ever,

      Sol LeWitt