• life and love are sometimes compared to a garden: you have to keep working at them or the weeds begin to crowd out the flowers. "(52)
• Anything worth doing required planning and effort and a bit of determination. (6)
• but if you are living together, no matter what you call it you are married. you are just not as married as if you were formally married, that's all. (18)

to make a love relationship viable, each of you must see the other as something unique, something special. (p146)

woman's changing role

• the whole thrust of the woman's liberation movement is their assertion that woman has more value as a person than man thinks she has, as demonstrated by the way he has treated her. (10)
• woman has always been more person-orientated than man. over thousands of years her responsibility for childbearing as well as the major responsibility in the rearing and socialisation process of her children have developed within her a greater consciousness and sensitivity to the wants and needs of others. (10)
• the women of the 1970s may find her identity and fulfilment in many other ways outside of the family and the home. (11)
• Not many years ago the family was a unit of economic survival. In the Middle Ages, a man went out to fight as a warrior or to hunt or farm. The women stayed home. In opur colonial times, the men tilled the soil and ground a living out of the earh ; but still most women remained in the home. After the Industrial Revolution, the husband still left the home, but this time to work in the factories for twelve or more ours, six days a week. Women remained in the hiome. The full burden of maintaining the home for many thousands of years has been the woman's. aupon her fell the major responsibility of caring for the children and the home. Today, however many women have been reluctant to consider themselves exlusively homemaker, mother and wide. In the 1930s the vast majority of women were satisfied wit this somestic role. (11)
• money won't make you happy. it'll only make you more comfortable when you're miserable. (14)
• many modern women look for marriage as a way to have a satisfying personal involvement rather than ma and pa playing house. (14)
• Katharine Hepburn chose acting as a career over marriage - not because she disliked marriage, but because she felt she couldn't do both and acting appealed to her more. (15)
• more is expected of the marriage itself. women no longer view a marriage as being successful if the couple just manages to get along and remain together. now marriage is seen more as a shared relationship. The doing of things together becomes important. Each person expresses a need for self-expression and growth. Roles are flexible and interchangeable. (16)

Ford, E. 1974. woman's changing role. In Why Marriage?, 10-20p. USA: Argus Communications.

sex can be as ugly as it is beautiful

• “I love you” means “I want your body for a little while.” (p145)
• real love is a priceless gift. let's face it, anyone can get sex if he wants it. and he can get it on almost any corner if he wants to wait there long enough. (151)

love is a process

• No matter how many times a person is in love, gets divorced and remarries, that person's goal remains the same: He or she is looking for a partner with whom to share life and find acceptance, discover self-worth and enjoy a happy life.

you can't make people love you / you can't make someone else happy

• love is simply something that cannot be forced upon another person. (p49)
• authentic human involvement is not an easy process. (p52)

• abraham lincoln said, "we are about as happy as we make our minds to be." (59)

you can't change people

• the only person you can change is yourself. (p31)
• responsibility in a marriage is the ability to fulfill your needs for love and self-worth while, at the same time, not infringing on the right of your mate to do the same. marital happiness is the involvement of two people, each of whom can fulfill his own needs while allowing the other to do the same. (p32

"when the honeymoon is over, life becomes real".