doco

Marriage Techniques for Beginners

Director Piers Sanderson is about to get wed but he needs some help. Using animation, interviews conducted around the UK and a 60-year-old self-help manual, Piers attempts to unravel the secrets to a happy marriage.

trash the dress

"Ela Perry 30 September at 18:20 

you should also look into the "Trash the Dress" craze with brides right now.

http://becomingmrsmchugh.blogspot.com/2009/04/ideas-i-love-trash-dress.html "

draft W2W #1

rough layout W2W #1

layout after some advice from ty

second questionnaire answered

"family is particularly important to me, to me it means that i personally have a large impact on someone's life and they have a large impact on mine.

"everything always looks so perfect in movies"

"i feel like it's uncommon and strange not to get married these days, but if i never get met the right person i wouldn't do it for the sake of it"

 "family to me means everyone that i know will care about me and that i will care about forever no matter what happens"

Planning for Woman into Wife #1

conversation

I blame you Hollywood

Reference Artist: Charlotte Mann

inspired!

http://www.charlottemann.co.uk/work.html

“ I once gave a girl a bloody fake ear in a Tiffany jewelry box with a letter that said, “Will you Gogh to prom with me?” Yeah, I guess I’m a romantic. ”

- Matthew Gray Gubler 


http://www.mademoisellerobot.com/2009/10/mademoiselle-robot-still-loves-you.html

I am still so naïve; I know pretty much what I like and dislike; but please, don’t ask me who I am. A passionate, fragmentary girl, maybe?

Sylvia Plath

something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue and a sixpence in your shoe

the 'old' came from a happily married woman so that her happiness was transferred to the bride. It also symbolises consistency. the 'new' is associated with your new start. the 'borrowed' was usually gold jewellery, which was said to guarantee wealth and fortune in the future. the 'something blue' was said to bring good luck and is often the garter. the 'sixpence' was traditionally placed in the left shoe to ensure prosperity.

What are the ideals of marriage for Jehovah's Witnesses?

Marriage is regarded as a sacred arrangement that should be honoured. The bible encourages individuals not to get married too young and to enter into it seriously as a lifelong arrangment that can only be left if one of the parties commits adultery. Outside of that, if a separation is necessary due to threats to personal safety or other circumstances, the innocent party is not free to marry unless or until their partner commits adultery or dies. 

Jehovah's Witnesses look to God's Word the bible for advice as to the principle of headship and submission and attempt to build loving, warm relationships which benefits both the partners (and children) and brings honour to the Creator.

Why the Hindu Marriage is Sacrosanct

Ideals of Hindu Marriage

In Hinduism, man and woman represent the two halves of the divine body. There is no question of superiority or inferiority between them. However, it is a scientific fact that the emotional side is more developed in women. This does not mean that intellectually, women are inferior. Hindu history is witness to the super-women, like Gargi, Maitreyi and Sulabha, whose faculty of reasoning was far superior to that of ordinary mortals. But owing to organic differences in their physical and emotional constitutions, women are temperamentally more emotional than men.

The Idea of Marriage

The idea behind the institution of marriage in Hinduism is to foster, not self-interest, but love for the entire family. Practice of self-restraint is the ideal of marriage in Hinduism. It is the love and duty cultivated for the entire family that prevents the break-ups. Men by nature are less capable of self-restraint than women. That is why, after marriage the Hindu women lead the men by keeping the lustful propensities under control. While married, thought of any other man does not enter the mind of a Hindu lady until she loses her faith in her husband due to his consistent misbehavior and 'don't care' attitude.

The Sanctity of Marriage
The present-day Hindu husbands fail to recognize the sacrifices and lofty ideals of Hindu wives, and thus compel them to follow the worst of the West. During the nuptial ceremonyin a Vedic marriage, both the bride and the bridegroom take oath for the practice of self-restraint, to work together for the welfare of the family and to help each other to attain spiritual peace. This lofty ideal of sanctity is a great gift of Hinduism to the world at large.

Gyan Rajhans

collected

From Sweet Estelle

From Silver Crow

woman's changing role

• the whole thrust of the woman's liberation movement is their assertion that woman has more value as a person than man thinks she has, as demonstrated by the way he has treated her. (10)
• woman has always been more person-orientated than man. over thousands of years her responsibility for childbearing as well as the major responsibility in the rearing and socialisation process of her children have developed within her a greater consciousness and sensitivity to the wants and needs of others. (10)
• the women of the 1970s may find her identity and fulfilment in many other ways outside of the family and the home. (11)
• Not many years ago the family was a unit of economic survival. In the Middle Ages, a man went out to fight as a warrior or to hunt or farm. The women stayed home. In opur colonial times, the men tilled the soil and ground a living out of the earh ; but still most women remained in the home. After the Industrial Revolution, the husband still left the home, but this time to work in the factories for twelve or more ours, six days a week. Women remained in the hiome. The full burden of maintaining the home for many thousands of years has been the woman's. aupon her fell the major responsibility of caring for the children and the home. Today, however many women have been reluctant to consider themselves exlusively homemaker, mother and wide. In the 1930s the vast majority of women were satisfied wit this somestic role. (11)
• money won't make you happy. it'll only make you more comfortable when you're miserable. (14)
• many modern women look for marriage as a way to have a satisfying personal involvement rather than ma and pa playing house. (14)
• Katharine Hepburn chose acting as a career over marriage - not because she disliked marriage, but because she felt she couldn't do both and acting appealed to her more. (15)
• more is expected of the marriage itself. women no longer view a marriage as being successful if the couple just manages to get along and remain together. now marriage is seen more as a shared relationship. The doing of things together becomes important. Each person expresses a need for self-expression and growth. Roles are flexible and interchangeable. (16)

Ford, E. 1974. woman's changing role. In Why Marriage?, 10-20p. USA: Argus Communications.

i wanna be love by you, just you, nobody else but you.

D R E A M E R

"there is always something to keep your fingers crossed about, right? ...especially if you are a big dreamer like moi!"

bri embry

sex can be as ugly as it is beautiful

• “I love you” means “I want your body for a little while.” (p145)
• real love is a priceless gift. let's face it, anyone can get sex if he wants it. and he can get it on almost any corner if he wants to wait there long enough. (151)

love is a process

• No matter how many times a person is in love, gets divorced and remarries, that person's goal remains the same: He or she is looking for a partner with whom to share life and find acceptance, discover self-worth and enjoy a happy life.

you can't make people love you / you can't make someone else happy

• love is simply something that cannot be forced upon another person. (p49)
• authentic human involvement is not an easy process. (p52)

• abraham lincoln said, "we are about as happy as we make our minds to be." (59)

you can't change people

• the only person you can change is yourself. (p31)
• responsibility in a marriage is the ability to fulfill your needs for love and self-worth while, at the same time, not infringing on the right of your mate to do the same. marital happiness is the involvement of two people, each of whom can fulfill his own needs while allowing the other to do the same. (p32

we fly balloons on this fuel called love

mock layout: Woman into Wife #1

IMPORTANT ELEMENTS #1

• introduction.
• exploration.
• history: family wedding photos.
• sleeping: "dreams are necessary to life".
• research: gaining an understanding.
• relaxed, lack of ritual.

I AM

Gordon Bennett
born Australia 1955
Self portrait (But I always wanted to be one of the good guys) 1990

Colin McCahon
New Zealander 1919–1987
Victory over death 2 1970

‘I AM’ is borrowed from a well known art work, Victory over death 2, 1970 by New Zealand artist Colin McCahon (1919–1987) . It is also a direct reference to biblical stories in the Hebrew Scriptures. This rich interplay of words and images raises many questions. The simplicity of ‘I AM’ suggests a universality of thought. It is open to self revelation, self redemption and a myriad of rich images of self that can be built upon. McCahon uses ‘I AM’ to question notions of faith. Bennett uses it to question notions of self. ‘I am that I am’, Exodus 3:14 is God naming self. It is at once a name revealed and something like the refusal of a name. If God cannot be contained, can humanity be contained by stereotypes and labels?

I decided that I was in a very interesting position: my mind and body had been effectively colonized by Western culture, and yet my Aboriginality, which had been historically, socially and personally repressed, was still part of me … I decided that I would attempt to create a space by adopting a strategy of intervention and disturbance in the field of representation through my art. Gordon Bennett ⁶

Bennett determines in Self portrait (But I always wanted to be one of the good guys) that labels and stereotypes have no relevance to a healthy construction of identity.

http://www.ngv.vic.gov.au/gordonbennett/education/02.html

sleep

"Macbeth does murder sleep, the innocent sleep,
Sleep that knits up the ravelled sleeve of care,
The death of each day's life, sore labor's bath,
Balm of hurt minds, great nature's second course,
Chief nourisher in life's feast" (2.2.35-39).

Three things about sleep should be noted: (1) Sleep as the great interpreter of life; (2) Sleep as healer; and (3) Sleep as nourisher. Each calls for comment.

Onomatopoeia

"when the honeymoon is over, life becomes real".

marriage is a joke.

"It always cracks me up when whiney, homophobic idiots hide behind marriage as a defense for them to oppress the gays. “marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman.” marriage isn’t sacred. It’s been abused so much that that hookers who specialize in gang bangs feel sorry for it. People get married out of convenience, because they screwed around and had a kid, as an excuse to get a green card, to win a game show, or to become famous. How sacred is that crap? When marriage was created, “till death do us part,” actually meant what it said. Now they should change it to, “till I get sick of you and want a divorce do use part, but not until I drive you utterly insane to the point that you will try to kill me and/or yourself with a shard of glass.” bit of a mouth full, but accurate none the less. Marriage was invented as a way for sexist men to own and control women, and that’s fine with me, but now marriage is just a novelty with no more value than that which individuals give it. I see marriage as utterly meaningless. It’s just a way for weak willed people to stay faithful to each other, or for sluts to screw old lonely men’s’ families out of inheritance. For Christ sake, they have drive through marriages in Vegas, and your priest is an Elvis impersonator! I honestly can’t imagine gays messing it up any worse than it is. Especially when celebrities keep having these 24 hour marriages during drunken stupors. You can’t drive drunk, but it’s ok to get married while you’re hammered. Shouldn’t there be a rule against that? I think the real reason people don’t want gays to get married is that they are afraid the gays will put their straight marriage to shame. Now that would be fricken hilarious."

http://www.datehookup.com/Thread-285519.htm 

family dinners

50th wedding anniversary

1978 Ledora & William Smaller
50th Wedding Anniversary
William Smaller died about Jan 1980

John Kennedy and Mary Richards
on their 50th wedding anniversary

June 1965 Wesley Clay Halbert and Cora Ethel Clark 

50th Wedding Anniversary 

1917-1967

first questionnaire answered

"i want to get married to have a pretty wedding."

"i feel society still thinks that if you have children you have to get married but i don't think it matters."

"family means having people around that love and care for you."

in my head we are already married

old love

"Even when we’re all old and wrinkly with hair growing in the strangest places, I’d still flirt with you, calling you ‘gorgeous’ and ‘babe’. And I hope you’d be okay with that." 

http://tomyfuturebride.tumblr.com/post/1109863508/even-when-were-all-old-and-wrinkly-with-hair

You prepare for the wedding.

I’ll prepare the marriage. :)

http://tomyfuturebride.tumblr.com/

fairytales

Stef: "Kenia I can't wait for you to get married!"
Kenia: "Nahh, no thanks Stef I dont think I want to."
Stef: "Marriage is like bungee jumping everyone should at least do it once in their lifetime."
http://iheartriley46.tumblr.com/

I secretly believe that our relationship is better than everyone elses

look at this, Gertrude! a man wants to marry a man. if it makes them both gay and joyous, who should stop them? why, i say all marriages should be gay marriages!

i am constantly wondering if i want things like marriage and a family because i GENUINELY want them, or because society has told me to want them.

“It’s not beauty but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband.” 

Euripides

Reference Artist: Lady Gaga

Go Gaga.

tumblr attack

we do not see things as they are, we see things as WE are.

I've decided never to fall in love again. It's a disgusting habit.

Reference Artist: haus of gaga

Meet Emilie Pirlot, the designer behind Lady Gaga's cowboy hat outfit.

Here Comes the Bride: Women, Weddings, and the Marriage Mystique, Jaclyn Geller

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Tempt a woman with a truckload of wedding gifts and social approbation, says Geller, and she's more than happy to forget that matrimony is the last institution she should want to join, given its patriarchal history. A single woman in her 30s working on her Ph.D. in English at New York University, Geller examines modern marriage in a lively, accessible book that's one part academic analysis and three parts rant. Fleeing a stultifying upper-class suburb, she found college so stimulating that she refused to swap cerebral pursuits for a conventional married life. As friend after friend rushed down the aisle, however, she began to examine why marriage is so revered that it automatically trumps a close, platonic friendship; the excitement of multiple sexual relationships; or a solitary, contemplative existence. Determined to find the answer, Geller pores over husband-hunting manuals and wedding guidebooks, and even poses as a bride at Bloomingdale's bridal registry, where the crystal pitchers, silver fondue dishes and Limoges soup tureens, she confesses, have tremendous allure. Women opt for house and husband, she suggests, because they've been subjected to a centuries-long, pro-marriage marketing campaign. Other lifestyles generate no comparable media blitz "no images of a woman burrowing at home with a book and a glass of wine, or sitting up with a friend talking." While Geller's argument is refreshing and timely in an age of wedding hype, some readers may wish that she spent more time exploring the pleasures and benefits of uncommon lifestyles and less telling readers why marriage is to be avoided at all costs.
Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

In contrast to Marcia Seligson's lighthearted The Eternal Bliss Machine: America's Way of Wedding (1973), this work by Geller (English, New York Univ.) is a lengthy critique of both weddings and the institution of marriage. Using histories of women, histories of marriage, and popular culture sources, she builds her case that marriage institutionalizes gender inequality and that the "big white wedding," with all its customs and extravagance, is a public demonstration of that inequality and the popular notion that marriage is a woman's destiny. Geller proposes, but does not extensively elaborate on, a coming-of-age rite that would celebrate the individuality and independence of each woman, whether or not she had a male partner. Geller's somewhat dour book makes good points but does not completely persuade. Appropriate for public libraries and women's studies collections. Patricia A. Beaber, Coll. of New Jersey, Ewing
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.

http://www.amazon.com/Here-Comes-Bride-Weddings-Marriage/dp/1568581939/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1241183354&sr=8-8

Religious Motifs

The Sleeping Beauty

THE SLEEPING BEAUTY - THE AWAKENING OF 
INSTINCT INTO CONSCIOUSNESS

The Sleeping Beauty

THE SLEEPING BEAUTY - THE AWAKENING OF 

INSTINCT INTO CONSCIOUSNESS

Beyond the Brain Conference, Cambridge, 1995 
Copyright © Anne Baring

Burne-Jones - the Sleeping Beauty

• the foundation of my own individual myth - what throughout my life has held supreme meaning for me. 

all the little details. cake/flowers/dress?

dress by alice riley

Lukka Sigurdardottir

A HISTORY OF THE WIFE, Marilyn Yalom

A HISTORY OF THE WIFE

 Marilyn Yalom

A woman coming of age today has good reason to wonder what marriage will mean to her. Certainly, it will no longer imply that her husband will provide for her, as an ability to earn a living is commonly expected of both men and women. Also, marriage will no longer offer a woman a unique gateway into sexual and domestic pleasures, since premarital cohabitation has long ago ceased to be a taboo. Marriage will not be a woman's indispensable passage to motherhood -- up to 40 percent of American first babies are being born out of wedlock. And, since one in two marriages will end in divorce, it will no longer guarantee a woman permanent protection in a world that has traditionally been unkind to unmarried women.

In this atmosphere of high ambiguity, it is instructive to look to the past, to see what it meant to be a wife from the earliest days of civilization to the present, and to explore how the contemporary wife came into being.

From the perspective of modern marriage, the distinguished cultural historian Marilyn Yalom charts the evolution of marriage in the judeo-christian world through the centuries and shows how radical that collective change has been. For example, how did marriage, considered a religious duty in medieval Europe, become a venue for personal fulfilment in contemporary America? How did the notion of romantic love, a novelty in the Middle Ages, become a prerequisite for marriage today? And, if the original purpose of marriage was procreation, what exactly is the purpose of marriage for women now?

A History of the Wife is a study of laws, religious practices, social customs, economic patterns, and political consciousness that have affected generations of wives: in ancient Greece, where daughters were given by fathers to husbands to create legitimate offspring; in medieval Europe, where marriage was infused with religious meaning; during the Reformation and the Age of Enlightenment, when ideals of companionate marriage came to the fore; and in twentieth century America, where a new model of spousal relationships emerged.

This rich, lucid chronicle of the turning points in a History of the Wife includes unforgettable stories about married women who have rebelled against the conventions of their times, from Marjorie Kempe to Elizabeth Cady Stanton, from Heloise to Margaret Sanger. Drawing extensively from diaries, memoirs, and letters, A History of the Wife also pays tribute to the ordinary wives who over the centuries changed with and against the currents they encountered, quietly affecting the legal, personal, and social meaning of marriage.

For any woman who is, has been, or ever will be married, this intellectually vigorous and gripping historical analysis of marriage sheds new light on an institution most people take for granted, and that may, in fact, be experiencing its most convulsive upheaval since the Reformation.

ebay or borders 

dresses

photo by Aliz aka the cherry blossom girl

Reference Artist: Yves saint Laurent

The YSL Cocoon

The cocoon dress, designed by Yves Saint Laurent in 1965, is one of the most famous bridal couture creations in history. Some say it symbolized the oppressive nature of marriage in the 1960s, while others believe that its phallic shape and the way that it wraps and ties the female figure in ribbons tell a story aboutwomen on the verge of the sexual revolution.

Reference Artist: Carrie Collins

Carrie Collins, The Burger Bride, 2007

There really is no necessary significance to “The Burger Bride.” I was having a casual conversation with Mayu (the textile designer) a few months back and she mentioned how she had been wanting to make hamburger fabric. Then I convinced her that if she did I would make a gown out of it with a matching headdress. The bride part sprouted from the idea of it being a “one-piece, one-day” exhibition.Wedding gowns can be so elaborate and detailed, yet only seen for a portion of one day. I think that is pretty strange. I think a lady dressed in hamburgers is pretty strange as well, so I decided to combine the two and see what happens. I chose a live model because having a live model also presents a performance piece, where she (the model) has her own attitude, stance, walk, and presence that can only add to the costume.

Carrie Collins

we go together

Once upon a feast: every kitchen tells its stories.
Fusion Pasta - A Perfect Marriage